Dear Early 20’s Me,

Life is very real now.

Not the version of real they warned you about in all those cautionary speeches from people who confused surviving with living or the real that shrinks you into practicality and calls it wisdom.

We’re talking about the kind of real that shows up when the training wheels come off and the road has actual consequences, where the choices stack, where the patterns you ignore become the walls you run into, where who you are in private starts showing up uninvited in public.

You are standing at the edge of the most formative decade of your life and you don’t fully know it yet, if you knew the details it would spoil the fun and discovery.

What I do know, standing on the other side of it, is this: the version of you reading this letter is more equipped than you feel, more seen than you believe, and more capable of the life you’ve been quietly dreaming about than anyone in your immediate environment has given you language for.

They meant well, some of them at least. The Caribbean Elder side-eye when you talked about doing meaningful work wasn’t malice, could’ve had more whimsy but it was the survival instinct of people who had been burned by hope before. Try not to hold it against them but don’t let it become your operating system either.

Here’s what I wish someone had said instead.

Validation is a trap set by people who never had to fight for anything.

If they don’t know what it took for you to get out of bed this morning; what you carried, what you survived, what you quietly rebuilt,  they have no standing to assess your worth. You will waste years performing for rooms that were never designed to receive you, stop auditioning.

The people worth impressing will recognize you without a rehearsal.

Learn to tell the difference between supporters and undercover haters. It will save you years and energy.

Some people will celebrate you publicly, call themselves your friend, and won’t hesitate to undermine you privately or when they get an opportunity.

Some people ask questions to gather intelligence, not because they care about the answer. Discernment is not cynicism, in simple terms it is pattern recognition applied to relationships.

You are already good at patterns, use it here too.

The obstacles of your earlier years are building capacity and are not punishment.

When you sit in rooms where other people are rattled, you will be clear and steady. Not out of fearlessness, but because you have already carried and survived worse. Be patient with the process, the weight has its purpose.

The things that feel impossibly heavy right now are developing in you a depth that most people around you will never have to develop and many would crumble under the weight.

Sometimes diplomacy is the right tool. Sometimes you just have to let people know who they’re dealing with.

You were taught that being palatable was the same as being wise. It most certainly isn’t. There are moments when the most loving thing you can do, for yourself and for the other person, is clarity delivered without apology but with empathy.

You are not required to shrink yourself for the comfort of someone who is comfortable at your expense.

Understand the law of thermodynamics as it applies to your life.

Energy is not created or destroyed. It is transferred. Every room you walk into, you are either gaining energy or spending it. Every relationship, every project, every environment is either building your capacity or drawing it down. This is not a metaphor, fundamentally it’s an unspoken law of life. Start treating your time as the finite, non-renewable resources it is.

Go hard with your creativity. Go even harder after your dreams.

You started designing and programming as a teenager to deal with depression and turned pain into craft. That move right there, converting inner life into external work, is one of the most important things you will ever can continuously do. Don’t stop doing it. The world does not need another person who had a gift and was too afraid to use it.

You are Jamaican. You come from people who have built extraordinary things with nothing. Act like it.

Understand your free will, especially as it relates to what you can actually accomplish.

Nobody is coming to give you permission. Not your parents, bosses, institutions, gatekeepers, or the people who gave you the side-eye for dreaming too big.

You will spend your early career waiting for authorization that was never anyone else’s to give. The anointing came before the crowning. You were already in possession of the thing you kept asking for. Stop asking. Keep doing the things.

The generational patterns you were handed are not your permanent operating system.

You will have to consciously choose which things you carry forward and which things you put down. Some of what was passed to you was simply survival code, needing to be refactored, once necessary in the context that produced it, limiting in the context you’re building toward. You are not betraying your heritage by evolving it.

Articulation is not completion.

You will have this problem your whole life if you don’t name it early: you are extraordinarily good at developing ideas and extraordinarily reluctant to circulate them.

The framework in your head is not in the market. The blog post in your drafts folder does not exist to anyone but you. The talk you gave to three people and never wrote down is gone.

Publish the things, ship the imperfect version and evolve, the market cannot assess what it cannot see.

The people you build with matter more than the things you build.

You are going to meet someone who becomes your partner in every sense of the word. What you build together, the company, the family, the life, will be evidence that you chose right. Fight hard to protect that. Not everything or everyone will deserve your time, not every opportunity is worth what it costs.

Some of the best decisions you’ll ever make will look like walking away. Fomo isn’t real unless you make it.

Burnout is not a badge.

You will push yourself into exhaustion so many times that hospitals will become familiar. You will call it dedication but if anything it is a failure to believe that you are worth protecting. The work will still be there when you rest, the version of you that doesn’t rest will eventually not be, learn this earlier than I did.

Grief is not a detour from your life.

You will lose people and animals and versions of yourself that you weren’t ready to release. The weight of it will feel incompatible with being a functional human being.

Grief and productivity can coexist, grief and joy can coexist. What grief cannot coexist with is pretending it isn’t there. Let it move through you at its own pace. It is making you more capable of the depth the work ahead will require.

Success will feel different than you imagined. Don’t let that confuse you.

The room you dreamed about getting into will feel ordinary once you’re in it. The project you fought for will feel like Tuesday by the time it ships. The goal was never the feeling. The goal was always the building. Stay focused on what you’re constructing, not on how the milestones feel when you arrive at them.

Always Upward is not just a motto.

Not a destination. Not a performance. A direction.

When life knocks you down, and rather creatively it will, repeatedly, in ways that will feel unfair and sometimes are, the question is not whether you fell. The question is which way you’re facing when you get up.

But here’s what I really need you to hear.

You can put it down now.

The weight you’ve been carrying, the need to prove yourself to people who were never paying attention, the guilt of dreams that outgrew the rooms you were handed, the exhaustion of translating yourself for spaces that weren’t built for you, the quiet grief of becoming someone your younger self would be proud of without anyone around to witness the becoming; you don’t have to carry all of that into what’s next.

You earned the next chapter. Not because you suffered enough. Not because you finally got it right. But because you stayed and showed up when showing up was the hardest thing to do. You kept creating and going when you couldn’t see the point and things felt pointless. You loved when love required more than you thought you had left.

That’s enough. It has always been enough.

Put it down.

Walk forward.

Always Upward,
David

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We’re lead early on to believe that respect is something that’s earned.

So we live our lives seeking external validation for what our why should be.

Essentially filling a premium car with unleaded gas.

But what if the reality is that respect isn’t earned but defined?

Meaning, we get the treatment we allow ourselves to receive.

If you allow others to define what and who you should be in order to be viewed as good enough, then you give up who you are just to fit in.

Independent thinking and living isn’t about being reckless.

It’s about understanding that it isn’t about being comfortable for the sake of being accepted.

If anything, it’s about being super uncomfortable as you blaze your own path based on wisdom and your own curiosity.

When pursuing excellence it’s extremely important to be clear on what you’re aiming for excellence within.

Otherwise there will be others that are more than ready to jump in and do it for you.

Which would defeat the point of you being the best version of you.

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Forced connections are awkward.

Especially when there isn’t any prior relationship to back things up.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to connect and network.

It’s even easier for you to take a moment and say hello.

Yet even with the best intentions things can still get a little messy.

The breakdown happens when we neglect one of the most important factors when attempting to build trust.

When we fail to let that connection occur naturally and organically.

Boundaries help us to move in harmony with the world around us.

Without harmony chaos will exist.

Just because you might not find a problem with being invasive into another person’s space doesn’t mean they’ll be on the same page.

First impressions are crucial.

Don’t mess things up by failing to take the time to properly connect.

Doing things just for the sake of numbers is pointless.

It ruins the ecosystem and takes away from the good within humanity.

Its like receiving unsolicited mail.

No one asked for it yet here we are.

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There’s a mystery to what is often described as a flow state.

We can spend hours unpacking theories and online searches.

Yet there’s something even more special about creative flow.

It’s said to be insanely creative, one needs to find their flow.

But how?

How does one come so immersed into a state of optimal productivity with all the noise floating around.

The easy way is through collaboration.

In the simple act of connecting with others we find a new level of clarity around our goals.

The hard part is you have to cross the bridges of fear and building trust.

But once those bridges are complete and you begin to connect with like minded people, a certain level of creative energy is unleashed.

It’s almost as if you’re pulled into an alternate universe simply by being around each other.

The best part is when each perspective at the table is respective and loving with the next.

Essentially, it’s one part empathy, a few parts passion, and a hefty helping of alignment around a selfless sense of service.

It’s within that vortex brought about by the gathered creative minds that pathways to new ideas and relationships are formed.

But it doesn’t happen overnight.

It’s what happens when you show up and help out.

It’s also what happens when you learn to appreciate the journey.

The moment you step outside of your creative bubble is the moment you change the course of what’s now possible.

Within you bubble it’s hard to see the path or progress.

But when additional perspectives are applied you’re now able to transition through the lanes of life without as many blindspots.

Besides, if you want to go far, nurture and serve your tribe.

…..

P.s If you’re looking for a tribe to call your own. One that will support you as you find your creative voice. Then join our humble little collective via the image below:

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To create the good the world needs to feel, you must realize that there is a purpose to why you’re here.

It’s not to compete but to collaborate.

It’s not to hate but instead to love.

It’s not to live in fear but to boldly live fully.

It’s way too early in the journey to be giving up.

Equally, you’re too far in to think about quitting.

So why not see things through?

Stop thinking that change is some huge fundamental shift.

Sure, it’ll happen from time to time.

Usually, it’s the exception.

It’s the subtle shift in direction that when followed with consistency in action, yields results.

The little things compound over time.

Don’t be in the majority that’s seeking to blend in and be comfortable.

We’re all running towards our goals at a different pace.

No need to be in a rush just because it seems someone else is moving faster.

Experience sometimes imparts upon us scars based on the bridges we choose to build, burn, or maintain.

The key is to know which ones should be burned.

Which ones should be built.

And which ones should be maintained.

The majority will choose comfort over character.

Which is why the majority often lives a very basic and unfulfilled life.

Aka personal hell.

It’s time to stop holding back.

Acknowledge it’s your life.

Your vibes.

Your choices that in the end will define.

Show up.

Lean in.

Help out with what you can, wherever you are.

Create that good.

Share your story, your art, and your love with the world.

Aim always upward.

The post Change is Subtle appeared first on David Yarde.

You can blame others or take responsibility for yourself.

One path leads to prosperity.

The other leads to a place that only gives sorrow.

It’s easy to play the victim.

But how often do your choices lead to your own demise?

We all have obstacles, disadvantages, and disappointments that happen in our lives.

It’s what we choose to do during and after that defines you and I.

Greatness can’t be achieved through shortcuts or name dropping.

It can only be achieved by consistently showing up and applying yourself.

Goals are just dreams in action.

That is if you’re intentionally taking the steps forward to meet them.

Otherwise you’ll just be wasting your time.

Hoping that someone will come along and give you the hookup.

It doesn’t make any sense claiming that you’re passion about something.

Then show up only when you feel like it.

That’s not how passion works.

Furthermore, that’s not how progress works either.

It’s on you to put in the work.

It’s on you to show up.

Even on the days you don’t feel like it.

Unlike the many resources and things you can get back, once time is gone, it’s gone.

No do overs.

This is why it’s key to keep doing you.

To keep focusing on being better.

To not allow yourself to get complacent.

That’s all on you.

The sooner you stop blaming others, the sooner you’ll find the clarity needed to move forward.

People suck sometimes.

Yet that doesn’t mean you should stop creating more good.

If anything, that simply means you should push yourself to create even more.

But, again…it’s on you.

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It may seem surprising.

But oh is it true.

Social media influencers are people too.

Behind the live videos, sales funnels, and course modules, are people just like you and me.

The only difference is the nights spent diving deeper into their craft.

Time most others are filling with cheap, short lived forms of entertainment.

Wondering why their dreams never leave the pavement.

Thing is, if you don’t put in the work, how can you complain?

Jealousy is a disease that if left untreated will leave you in a horrible demise.

So the next time you begin to scrutinize, take the time to realize there’s more than enough room in the skies.

So take your eyes off someone else’s prize.

Look at your time and optimize.

Put in the work consistently and you too will rise.

Next time you start to romanticize the current chapter of someone else’s life, is the moment you’ve lessened the impact of good you can create.

Chances are there is someone somewhere that thinks you are an influencer in what you do.

And in that moment, you’ll realize that influencers are simply people too.

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Once you find the necessary momentum,tie a knot on the end of the rope and hold on.

It’s about to get wild on this ride.

It’s easy to want to answer the call of the comfort zone and seek out a break but the task at hand has just begun.

Now isn’t the time to rewind the tape.

If anything it’s the time to lean in and let the momentum you’ve been building guide you onward and upward.

The key isn’t to just do things for the sake of doing things.

It’s to do the right things with purpose and passion.

To be intentional in each and every step until the task is complete.

You have the fire within and all the resources you need to make massive good happen.

Why are you still doubting that fact?

Why are you filling your premium tank with the unleaded opinions of others who haven’t taken the leaps of faith towards their dreams as you have been taking towards yours?

At the end of the day it’s you vs you.

It makes no sense waiting on others to tell your story for you.

There’s a high chance it’ll never happen.

Go out and find your tribe.

Collaborate and create the good the world needs to feel.

Stop caring who’s watching.

You aren’t doing it for them.

You’re doing it for you.

To prove to yourself that you won’t let the talents you’ve been given go to waste.

To give a voice to those just like you.

Just take a moment and give yourself the permission to lean into your creativity.

Through the consistency of each step you’ll get to where you should be.

Understand the season of life you may be in and act accordingly.

Know when to say no.

Makes no sense stretching yourself thin.

Equally, know when to say yes and take the needed leap of faith.

The trials along the way are there to help strengthen you according to the measure of greatness you’ve asked for.

Keep your eyes focused on that which matters and soon the noise will fade away.

When you lean into the momentum, constantly give value, and aim always upward, you’ll find joy in so much more.

Before you know it, you’ll have accomplished your goal and at the point to level things up even more.

So what are you waiting for?

Lean in.

Create that good.

Aim always upward.

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I can’t believe that it’s already the end of another week.

I guess that’s what happens when you’re minding your own business.

To say this week has been boring, would be a true disservice to life.

Beneath all the cool experiences, there has been something smacking away in the back of my mind.

Everyone is suddenly an expert these days.

It’s a weird world we live in.

Everyone is selling something.

Many try to sell glitter poised as gold.

They whisper about having the shortcut you need.

Babbling on and on with cheap tricks to get you sipping on the cult-aid.

You deserve better.

Anything that is worthwhile won’t come easy.

The snake oil seller knows this fact.

They also know that it’s within human nature to seek out anything that looks like a shortcut.

So they prey on your passion, your energy, and your possibility.

Weaving you in and out of funnel after funnel, promising you the key to all your dreams.

Extending the promise runway just a little more each and every time.

Until, you have nothing left to give their ever growing coffers.

Time is too valuable to keep giving it all away.

It’s too valuable to keep showing up for people who aren’t showing up for you.

Certainly there is nothing wrong with asking for help.

In fact, don’t try to do things all on your own.

Av0id the bubblegum advice.

It’s easier to stop chewing now than to keep chewing and end up hungry for true substance later.

There’s more value in gaining the experience than seeking the shortcut.

You’ll realize that when you pursue substance, there’s very little room for snacks.

Even less room to get caught up in the oily, slimy mess of the snake oil seller.

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Life isn’t a sprint.

It never was to begin with.

We made it that way. YOU made it that way.

Life isn’t a marathon either.

It’s actually both. Weird huh?

Life requires us to move with purpose while requiring us to be patient.

Most people will forget the words you say.

Rarely do they forget how you made them feel.

Genuine relationships however take time.

The same goes for the success that you seek.

Nothing worthwhile happens overnight or is ever easy.

There was a time you prayed for where you are now.

Appreciate it.

Otherwise you’ll miss the opportunities you’re looking for because you’re too busy jumping all over the place, hoping that on the next jump, you’ll somehow make it to where you want to be.

Except it never ends up happening.

There’s power in staying focused.

Especially when you’re focused on creating more good.

Even more so when you stay curious along the way.

You’ll never be able to enjoy the destination if you don’t learn to appreciate the journey.

And the best part, you don’t need a tragedy or mishap for you to start!

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