The Whisper in the Chariot

Sometime ago I came across a phrase that stopped me in my tracks. Memento mori loosely translated from Latin to mean, “remember you must die.”

Allegedly, the origins of this phrase are credited to the Roman period of time, whenever a victorious general returned home in triumph, parading through the streets while crowds celebrated his glory, a servant would stand behind him in the chariot. The servant’s apparent only job? To whisper in the general’s ear: “Respice post te. Hominem te esse memento. Memento mori!” (Look behind you. Remember you are only a human. Remember you must die!).

At the height of glory, someone was there to remind him he was still mortal.

The Stoics like who embraced this practice weren’t being morbid. They understood something most of us spend a lifetime avoiding, that remembering the end is what clarifies the now.

Marcus Aurelius and Seneca used death as a daily grounding tool. As Aurelius has been noted to say, “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

Even art and religion have their own respective examples, that this concept draws from.

When Everything Changed

As a young lad, death wasn’t a stranger to me, although sometimes I wish it was. I can’t pinpoint the first moment mortality felt real, it just feels like it’s always been the default.

In-between people I had grown to love and respect, from pastors, to people who felt like family but weren’t, to friends that were silently battling demons, and even those who left too soon without warning; grief had been a recurring visitor long before I had the language for it.

But knowing grief and being broken by it are two different things.

Within the span of less than a full year, I lost my cat of 16 years, an amazing woman that took me in like one of her own grandchildren during my formative years, and a good friend who was struggling with more than they let on. Three different kinds of love, gone. I felt angry and sad at the same time. Some would even consider it to be rage. Personally, I think it was love with nowhere to go.

Grief tends to look different on each individual forced to carry it. One thing is certain, it’s a ridiculously heavy load to carry daily and still have to be a functional member of industrial society.

It’s in the little things you start to notice it with at first, laughter feels different, silence hangs a little heavier, and joy carries a hint of ache. You realize immensely that you’re just living on borrowed time, while the clock ticks faster.

The Switch

Something shifted after those experiences. I’m not sure when because it wasn’t a quick experience but it sure was quiet and powerful.

The stupid fears I’d been carrying for years suddenly had light shining on them. The fear of trying. The fear of failing. The fear of being too much or not enough.

So I stopped waiting and started daring myself to start living instead of observing.

My approach to life changed, I found myself slowly having more patience with myself, more love expressed out loud instead of assumed, sharing vulnerability I’d been too guarded to show, embracing goals I’d convinced myself were out of reach.

Little by little the love suddenly had a place to go again and began to realize what nobody tells you about grief, sometimes it cracks you open in ways that let the light in.

What We Should Actually Fear

Memento mori didn’t teach me to fear death.

It taught me to fear an unlived life, that we should fear not living life lovably and abundantly, that we should fear reaching the end having played it safe, having held our love hostage, having let our fears write the story instead of courage and love.

The obstacles will come, pain will always find us at the most unexpected moments but life is ultimately what we make it, and we’re making it every single day, in the risks we take, the love we give or don’t give, the moments we choose to be fully present for or reach for a distraction.

We’re all on borrowed time. The question is what we’re doing with what we’ve been given.

Originally drafted in 2019. Published May 2026.

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“You’re doing great, I know it”, was the sentence my tiny human shared with me as I began pulling the bag out of its container.

A simple sentence that made a mundane task a little more pleasant to endure. I mean, who really likes taking out the trash?

Yet, it’s a task that must be done in order to prevent a much more unpleasant experience from happening.

Much like life, there’s a good and bad side to most anything but especially when it comes to how well you can execute.

Throughout history there have been millions if not more that had a great idea but failed to execute.

The sure thing that the comfort zone provided turned out to be an illusion. Leaving them only with regret in the form of the question, “What if I had tried?”

Unfortunately, millions more will make this same mistake.

Hopefully none of those people will be you.

Life may not seem like a great thing right now but just keep pushing forward.

One step at a time. One moment at a time.

You’re doing great, I know it.

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It’s easier to reach for comfort than it is for growth.

Easier to play it safe than to take a risk.

But what happens when you reach the end of your life, and all you’ve been left holding is a bag of regrets?

What if you were to just get lost in the moment and rise above the noise?

What would happen if you allowed your focus to be on the goal as you go through the messy, mundane, and madness that often is life?

Would your fears still seem bigger than your dreams?

I’m guessing the answer would be no.

There are going to be days when all that you can do is facepalm at the state of things around you.

This mindset of everything has to be perfect before it launches is the killer of more dreams and organizations than anything else.

The whole point of life is to grow by learning…while being a decent human in the process.

So what if you fall down a few times on the way to your goals, keep rising.

Small steps made daily yield more progress than large steps made infrequently.

Train your mind to look above the noise and your steps will follow.

What will you choose today?

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In a matter of moments it can imagine absolutely anything.

When harnessed for a bigger purpose your mind is capable of contributing to massive positive change.

But on the micro level, your dreams and goals are your responsibility to see through.

Failing is a part of the process.

So are the obstacles.

Because at the end of the day, if you really want to make a difference, you’ll find a way.

You weren’t made to have a common existence.

Know the difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough.

It’s time to stop hiding in the shadows of the comfort zone, and step into the light of your creative good.

Your dream. Your responsibility. Your choice.

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Life literally feels strange.

Yet despite how things may be, I’m ever so grateful.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m back in my zone.

The secret? Focus.

Anything that doesn’t positively add to my life doesn’t get much time.

It’s not worth keeping things around you that reopen the wounds you’ve trying to heal either.

The path upward will reveal all the good stuff as long as you stay focused.

Focused on the things that uplift, encourage, strengthen, and empower you to be the best version of you, that you can possibly be.

It’s because things don’t go as we plan that allows us to find what should really be the plan.

There are two sides to every experience. The lessons we draw from each side impact the steps we take next.

Hence the importance and perspective to choose wisely.

This is what I’ve come to realize.

After all the things life has thrown at me, there must be a reason why I’m still here.

This curiosity lead me to start figuring out what I’ve dubbed as a minimum loveable brand.

But nearly four years after the first talk I gave on the topic, the meaning of what a minimum loveable brand is only recently became clear.

In short, a minimum loveable brand is one where inclusion and diversity is at the core. A personal brand that is heavily influenced by empathy, self awareness, and a passion of improving with rapid iterations.

Where the focus isn’t on anything else but discovering your creative power and how it can be used to create massive good.

The reality is this.

Life isn’t about being happy.

It’s about being whole.

The quicker you and I realize that, the quicker we’ll achieve the growth our souls seek.

See the lane. Walk in it and trust the process.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Success isn’t a straight line, and definitely not something that happens without great sacrifice.

Embrace all the lights that appear on the dark roads that often exist in life.

Be the person that makes someone aim always upward.

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Sounds like a recipe for the ultimate level of burnout.

If you aren’t taking care of yourself then you’ll be in no position to take care of others. Regardless of how big your dreams to may be.

Thing is this, when we’re not focused on what we’re doing, we become seriously unproductive.

It isn’t selfish to take time to heal your mind, body, and soul.

If anything, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and those you love.

Because what’s the sense of achieving massive success but unable to enjoy it?

You can still help others while you heal but if you’re not intentional about how you treat yourself, someone is willing to do that for you.

Life isn’t a game with extra lives or do overs.

Drop the expectation of what the world thinks you should be and embrace the creative good inside.

You do deserve to be happy, just be careful that it isn’t at the expense of your ability to create more good.

So drop the world and pick up yourself.

You’ve made it this far, aren’t you curious to see what could happen next?

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It’s easy to demand excellence from others. But how often do we demand it from ourselves?

You and I have our own personal struggles and goals. However, at the root we require the same basics to live.

Thing is we also differ greatly.

Usually in the area of what we value and how that influences what we fight for.

It’s in this space we forget to take the time to understand things from the opposite perspective.

Growing up I would always hear that the truth has three sides, your side, the other person’s side, and then the truth. Or something close.

If we neglect the perspectives and experience that a diverse group of people bring to the table, we’ll ultimately end up holding ourselves back from some of the greatest achievements.

In short. It isn’t a competition but a collaboration.

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How often do you wish for an experience that you’re going through to be easier?

They key to accepting growth is to keep pushing.

Especially in the moments you feel like you can’t.

The thing is growth isn’t complicated.

We make it complicated like most things that we do.

The sooner you accept the growth moments within your life, is the sooner you’ll reach the heights you aim to attain.

So what will it be?

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Oh how often do we get the two confused.

Thus leading ourselves down a path of never truly commiting to a set path.

Why?

Because we’re distracted by each new shiny object that promises us to be the thing we think we need.

What you don’t see in the equation is how much farther along you’d be if you aimed more for what you need over the temporary wants.

This is where even the smartest amongst us stumble.

You see life is essentially one big test.

Not on what you have or accomplish but on what you do with the unique gifts you’ve been given.

Sure it’s fun to go with the flow and always be in the know.

But what happens when you do you for a change?

Imagine just how much better you’d get at your passion if you just focused on doing the work over sitting around dreaming.

When you realize that the journey is about growth and not being comfortable, you begin to challenge yourself to live towards a higher purpose.

One that isn’t about being a part of a specific religion, race, country, or even gender.

So check your mindset.

It’s easy to get lost in the semantics and miss the point.

At the end of the day, remember that you are you.

Above all, what you need to grow isn’t the same thing as what you want to feel comfortable.

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We’re all weird.

There truly is nothing called normal.

Until context is really applied.

The beauty is in owning the awkward.

Owning the things that make you who you are.

It’s when you live fully by owning the awkward parts that life yields unto you the things that truly matter.

Set aside the plans of trying to be like someone else.

Instead simply aim to be the best version of yourself daily by aiming always upward.

Awkward bits and all!

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